
Claudia Dey is not a stranger when it comes to writing about sex. Having written a weekly Group Therapy column for
The Globe and Mail and a sex column under the pseudonym of Bebe O’Shea for
Toro magazine, Dey could easily be labeled as an expert on the subjects of G-spots, sex toys, aphrodisiacs, lubricants, and erogenous zones. Her latest book
How to be a Bush Pilot: A Field Guide to Getting Luckier (HarperCollins, 2010) is a carefully mapped out flight plan and suggestively detailed operating manual intended to dispel the myth that prospective bush pilots are incapable of getting luckier, and that they too are only mere pages away from having their names encrypted in lipstick across steam-coated bathroom mirrors.
Dey’s use of humour and catchy phrases makes sex fun again. She manages to flirt, wink, educate and stimulate her readers with a succinct purpose of making them more proficient and attentive lovers. Who could blame her for that!
She lives and writes in Toronto, studied English at McGill University and playwriting at the National Theatre School, and is married to Don Kerr – a musician who has played with Ron Sexsmith and the Rheostatics. Her plays have been produced internationally and include
Beaver,
Trout Stanley, and
The Gwendolyn Poems, which was nominated for the Governor General’s Award and the Trillium Award. Dey’s debut novel
Stunt was chosen by
The Globe and Mail and
Quill & Quire as Book of the Year and was shortlisted for the Amazon.ca First Novel Award. For more information visit her
website.
TTQ- Why did you feel it was necessary and the right time for you to write a 'how to' book about sex?Claudia Dey- It is always necessary and the right time to write a ‘how to’ book about sex. Unlike the Jell-o casserole, piano tie and permanent make up, sex does not expire.
TTQ- Is How to be a Bush Pilot primarily written for men or do you feel women need just as much help in the bedroom?Claudia Dey- The book is ostensibly written for men, but I have had a lot of feedback from women (mostly in the form of thank you notes.) Men do not need more help than women; happily, we are all sexual apprentices.
TTQ- Do you feel that your experience in writing about G-spots, aphrodisiacs, and sex toys for years at Toro magazine gave you the expertise necessary to write this kind of book? What kinds of research did you undertake personally in writing How to be a Bush Pilot and who were your accomplices in carrying out your research?Claudia Dey- Writing the column for
Toro magazine, I attended Tantric sex, fire breath orgasm and female ejaculation workshops with (ahem) live demonstrations. I asked intimates and strangers questions like: Dildo or vibrator? Feather duster or quiver crop? Eyes open or closed?
How to be a Bush Pilot takes that work in the field to eleven. The book is full of testimonials from babes and bush pilots. It draws on the high art and low art expertise of death-wish voluptuaries like Motley Crue and whip smart academics like Natalie Angier. I spoke with hundreds of sexologists, bush pilots, and specialists in cock rings, BDSM and play parties. My mother was my research assistant. I sent her out to sex shops and libraries with lists like prostate massagers, blindfolds, rear entry. Within a few months, she was wearing a cowboy hat and leather pants.
TTQ- What are the primary things any bush pilot should remember when successfully ejecting his landing gear onto the landing strip of a certain prospective babe?Claudia Dey- His babe.
TTQ- Why is Led Zeppelin IV a must when in the throes of any bush pilots safari? What other music suggestions top your list and why?Claudia Dey-
Led Zeppelin IV feathers your hair. Take, for instance, “Black Dog.” Robert Plant’s tumescent tenor vows to make his babe “sweat,” “groove,” “burn,” and “sting.” Here, for your listening pleasure, from Bushquarters to
The Toronto Quarterly, is a triple album mixtape:
TAPE ONESIDE A
“Afternoon Delight”—Starland Vocal Band
“Night Moves”—Bob Seger
“Let Your Love Flow”—The Bellamy Brothers
“Physical”—Olivia Newton-John
“The Stroke”—Billy Squier
“Beat It”—Michael Jackson
“Let’s Spend the Night Together”—The Rolling Stones
“Head”—Prince
“Rock and Roll All Nite”—Kiss
SIDE B
“Love in an Elevator”—Aerosmith
“Bottoms Up!”—Van Halen
“Bootylicious/Say My Name” (medley)—Destiny’s Child
“I Wanna Be Your Dog”—The Stooges
“No Diggity”—Blackstreet
“Can’t Get Enough of Your Love”—Barry White
“I Want It That Way”—Backstreet Boys
“I Got You (I Feel Good)”—James Brown
“Signed, Sealed, Delivered”—Stevie Wonder
“Like a Virgin”—Madonna
“You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet”—Bachman Turner Overdrive
TAPE TWOSIDE A
“Let’s Get It On”—Marvin Gaye
“Theme from Shaft”—Isaac Hayes
“Mustang Sally”—Wilson Pickett
“Good Golly Miss Molly”—Little Richard
“Get Up (I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine”—James Brown
“Maniac”—Michael Sembello
“Sexy M.F.”—Prince
“Cum on Feel the Noize”—Quiet Riot
SIDE B
“I Was Made for Lovin’ You”—Kiss
“Bang a Gong (Get It On)”—T. Rex
“Wang Dang Doodle”—Koko Taylor
“Back in the Saddle”—Aerosmith
“Relax”—Frankie Goes To Hollywood
“Penetration”—Iggy Pop
“Push It”—Salt-n-Pepa
“Love to Love You Baby”—Donna Summer
TAPE THREESIDE A
“Stayin’ Alive”—Bee Gees
“When the Levee Breaks”—Led Zeppelin
“Hold On! I’m Comin’”—Sam & Dave
“Come Together”—The Beatles
“Eruption”—Van Halen
“We Are the Champions”—Queen
“Up Where We Belong”—Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
SIDE B
“We’ve Only Just Begun”—The Carpenters
“Just Can’t Get Enough”—Depeche Mode
“Don’t Stop Believing”—Journey
“Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)”—Bill Conti
“All Night Long (All Night)”—Lionel Ritchie
“Here I Go Again”—Whitesnake
“You Shook Me All Night Long”—AC/DC
“I Will Always Love You”—Whitney Houston
“Hallelujah”—Leonard Cohen
TTQ- Captain Goodscrew is a character in the book considered the 'ace' pilot for all prospective bush pilots to look up to? Why did you keep the captain's true identity a secret and why is it so important that all bush pilots be like him?Claudia Dey- Captain Goodscrew and I corresponded over the course of a year under the condition of anonymity. I would send him questions like: How do you initiate a threesome? How do you put on a condom in the dark? How does one become a multi-orgasmic man? His responses quickly revealed he was a sex genius with the foul yet irresistible mouth of Louis C.K. In the book, his flight patterns are those the aspiring bush pilot most wants to replicate. Why? His signature move: “The Indefinite.”
TTQ- Would you be related to Commander Mistress by any chance and what is it bush pilots should learn from her?Claudia Dey- Yes. Everything.
TTQ- How big of an influence has Xaviera Hollander's book The Happy Hooker been on your writing about sex?
Claudia Dey- She is my Fairy Godmother.
TTQ- Is it truly possible for any dedicated bush pilot to discover the mysteries of the G-spot, its hidden secrets and eventually break on through to the other side?Claudia Dey- Chapter 14 (an excerpt):
TURN ON YOUR GUINEVERE –
Your babe’s arousal is crucial to locating her G-spot. Why, Mistress, oh why? Her tissues will become engorged and, like the boner making a lean-to out of your Pilot pants, that ever-elusive G-spot will be much easier to find. My suggestion? Prince on the record player, plus the slow unlatching of her bra, plus a paw rolling down her panties, plus your mouth on her nether regions. Bush Pilots, as you know from Chapter 12 (crush it), cunnilingus is the perfect precursor to your G-spot quest; despite your Captain Beefheart’s goodwill, your tongue is much more likely to make her come.
Interlude.
Once your babe is flush-cheeked, cease your mouth music and find the G-spot by hand. Because G-spot stimulation requires precision, patience and pressure, pull out the lube (Chapter 3. Memorize it.).
Using one or two fingers, enter her butterfly. At about half a finger length in, on the front wall (toward the belly), there will be a ridged area, a corrugated swelling in an otherwise smooth and silky domain. Congratulations, BP! This bit of roughness is her G-spot. It may be the size of a dime, a quarter or a walnut. Like all natural formations, G-spots vary in shape and size. As one snowmobiling bedroom prophet puts it, “Women are snowflakes.”TTQ- Talk about some of the feedback you have received thus far to the book. Are there many more happy bush pilots out there getting luckier today?Claudia Dey- I am overwhelmed with feedback and this was precisely my wish: to be a Robinhood of the nether regions.
TTQ- How frequently should a successful bush pilot get lucky?Claudia Dey- Only he and his paramour can answer that.
TTQ- What kinds of things are you doing to promote the book?Claudia Dey- Radio, television, readings, book signings, and wearing a Captain’s hat while speaking to the likes of Michael Winter as he suggestively peels a large banana.
TTQ- What two books have you read recently and how did they inspire you?Claudia Dey-
How Should a Person Be? by Sheila Heti and the
Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller: corporeal existentialism while being funny.
TTQ- What's next in store for Claudia Dey? Have you focused yet on what your next writing project will be about?Claudia Dey- I will continue to write the Coupling column for
The Globe and Mail and my second novel.
TTQ- Any last words of encouragements for the bush pilots of the world who want to get luckier?Claudia Dey- May the bush be with you.
Claudia Dey reads from
How to be a Bush Pilot.LDM100: Toronto: Claudia Dey from Opium Magazine on Vimeo.
*Note - Photo #1 of Claudia Dey credited to Christopher Wahl
*Note - Photo #2 of Claudia Dey credited to Calvin Thomas
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